Im Back!

After a year that is, stay tuned :)

Life's Ups and Downs

i oftenly doesn't care but as this stress is accumulated i have to funnel it all out, i knew myself, if i tell what i feel to somebody i will feel better, doesn't matter its solved the issues or not,

nowadays, i started to feel bored, pain from my job, i feel restricted i feel insufficient, and don't blame me if i move on, im browsing for jobs, my life expenses has becoming so close with my salary that makes me near death in end of the month, and i cant even save a fund for myself, or for our relationship

the ways i feel on working here, not the work, but the environment, full of male gossipers, talks but no bangs, and i think its little by little im becoming them so i have to stop, and the pay, little too low, n there's double standards happening on here, well im not going to play you guys games, so off i go, this also makes me feel restricted, im not allowed to get sick and im not allowed to have a day off, my position is so crucial yet the pay, hmm, cant blame it on the company if the sales is so weak month by month, n they do forget the fact that im alone surviving in the world,

looking for another opportunity out there,

and i think im going to set up a company with this friend, we have to start new but i really doubt that hes willing to come clean on how the condition of his company and what hes willing to do to salvage his company, because sometimes, i feel the lazyness of working so i want to start managing

My love,
:) you however has accumulated more and more happiness in me, thx for your company during tides and low, thats why i really really really wants to makes u infinitely mine~! please root for me more, ill need it

Exhausted

i don't know nowadays, since the new year everything i've done does'nt make me feel good anymore, maybe i'm bored, maybe i'm sick of people around me , nobody knows what im feeling well my feeling does not matters, its just theirs

Sepetang di Toys R Us

Peraduan Pertama aku selepas 18 Tahun

Contest aku Join ni adalah Tajaan Hobbylink Japan  dimana penyeponsornye ialah Syd Sked ataupun Gaijin-Gunpla... details die kat sini, 

aku mempertaruhkan dua rekaan aku yg tak seberapa ni. ahahha

Rekaan pertama aku yg mengambil mse 15 minit ni ialah Sinanju kegemaran Syd yg diwatermarkkan dgn initial die tu, aku tetiba rse gambar ni tak original cos aku cume level ngan photoshop, Crop pastu tambah tex tu so aku mcm rse pengciplakan coz gambar sinanju ni bukan aku yang punye

dan design kedua ialah menggunakan Microsoft Paint coz aku dah lupe mcmane nak gune pen tool kat photoshop,

Handmade, u can see it, n aku gune GG as base design n aku buat die nampak mcm muke Gundam, aku ade tambah mata aku padam pasal aku nampak  mcm ni lg elok,

so if aku menang, evaluation Syd+Jumlah Like 

kat Sini

Jgn Lupe Like n Komen In English

Sinanju & Insignia Syd

sinanju aku leading sekarang cume tgk evaluation Syd je 

n if aku menang, 

Sinanju Stein ni akan jd milik aku n bru je kua dr jepun dua hari lepas dan kalau aku menag Syd akan hantar bende ni kat aku

kepad kawan2 yg budiman sile bantu aku ye 

>Rico Ridzhuan Rozaidy<

Hari itu di zoo melaka,

Selamat Ulang Tahun Syg~

Kek yg Harga Rm6.90 dgn Lilin Free

Selamat Harijadi Yang Ke 21 Sayang, 

i really cant express myself in Malay actually, i think the language lacks feels as i know it, im going to give this message in english,

First of all, Im really sorry for the way i behave for this past year, i think i have done a lot to hurt u than to love you, u once said to me, Apsal b kebelakangan ni Mengguris hati saya, yeah that makes me cry hard, i called another girl syg, it kills me inside when u cry, it doesnt matter if i mean it or not but the fact is it hurt u, i play YM recklessly like my old single times, also that makes u cry, it kills me too, i our state now, we cant hurt alone, theres must be the two of us and thats how deep our heart connected

Im sorry for everything this past one year, i know im a jerk i will improve, 

look at your frens getting married, look at my frens getting married, dont u try to run from me, ill come for u

i know having me as a BF is a burden sometimes, i set down some rules, u cant do that, u cant do this, i force u to control ur emotion, i get mad at ur nature as a girl, sometimes its just i so love you that i feel overprotecting towards you, i know im controlling your decision now but please bear with me, i dont want you to do the same mistakes i did, coz i doesnt care if u leave me someday but u will leave as a better person than the first time u walk into my heart, ill solidify your Attitude, career and your life, for you, not even for me

i know my words is harsh, always, im an emotional person thats a fact, i controlled it Hard, u Help me, :) n with my words i hurt u a lot

as i look at u i saw past through you, i saw how fragile u are, how weak u are, but thats not a bad thing, thats why u need a good and brave man to take care or u and im working hard for that spot,

no matter how hard life hit me, maybe u notice, only u alone can make me laugh honestly now, i have forsaken all the things i have, i pretended to for someone else, just to be with you as myself not some uptight rebelious motivator who earn 500 in 3 days , money cant buy you happiness, n i cry a lot when i broke u did pay for my food,

i live alone, i take care of myself, now i have no family, no friends, no home only a Car but my treasure that i care the most is you

and

the fact is i never once and never will regret  the first time i said I LOVE YOU infront of ur Face and Down to ur Heart, forever