BACK!

Since 2006 ive give up 3 things that makes me up :D, i give it up because i thought it was the core of my mistake to her,

why did i give these things up? because the things makes me arrogant and so full of myself so after the tragedy i decided that these are the things i done that distance myself from her, so i give it up so that my other friends dont have to feel the same way as she does, but then i realize, i was all wrong

These things are making up The Rico, so if 1 of them is missing its not me anymore, im tired of pretending so from now, 2011 hopefully i will give it 100% cause these are the things that i really like to do, but from now on also i have to taught myself to be humble for waht i have coz if Allah takes it away i dont know when or where, so enjoy my hobbies while it last, :)

4 years i live in despair and regrets, talking to my friends seem not to ease my guilt but somehow grow it more, on that faithful night, she sat next to me, and said dont give up the things that u want to do, like to do, happy to do it, with that stupid smile of her, somehow she seems so damn happy, she says that be yourself, be what are u are made of, stand out the uniqueness in u, then she walk away , i was sitting there 1000 times stupid

i like the Physical things, i like the thrill of speeds and skill, and i like various sounds and smiles

im doing that back!

Apakah?? Part 5

Lokasi: None other .. The Psycho Lair Restoran Sri Indah

LAst time i was here adalah sebelum puasa aritu, lepas bayar saman trafik kat selayang kul 11.45a.m td yg mne kesalahan aku ialah speeding depan Desa Coalfields, aku tetiba lapar, err.. aku pun pegila restoran saiko tu, masuk je lam restoran, Makcik tuh jerit, BEEENNNNNN!! lame nye tak nampak! ... APAKAH?? aku pun awkwardly angkat tgn smbil ckp, "hai, makcik" pastu die mula berseloroh, "kau ni Ben , lame tak dtg kedai makcik, byk lauk yg tak abis, hari2 makcik gi pasar masakkan tuk ko, tp tak dtg2," err.. customer die sume dah pandang2 aku dah, bukan sebab aku ni kacak tp sebab makcik tuh buat cite dongeng melampau die, haha, dah abis makan die kira leh lak rm5.10,, seposen??? hahaha, aku pun pegi la kat kaunter, tp takde org, aku pun mcm bese, jenguk la belakang kaunter tu sebab aku mmg ade pengalaman belakang kaunter ni, hahaha, tetiba aku ternampak makcik td tgh jawab tepon kat bawah Kaunter, APAKAH?? hahaha, kedai tu da la kedai die, die bos, kenapa die perlu menyorok smpi mcm tu skali, hahahak


Dah la td Polis Trafik tuh tye aku, Ayah awk polis ke? rse mcm penah tgk muke awk ni, aduiiii,,, tah zaman bila family aku ade yg polis pun aku tak tahu, so aku jwb ngan spontan, Takdela Encik, hensem sy leg dr beliau, errr...

Disaster strikes again, but im Here like always, still standing

Disaster? haha

10th October 2010 - Ara Disaster

at night on the 10th, me and Mira heads to Puncak Perdana when it all went bad, my carelessness take both of our precious times, we was playing at the side of Kepong Freeway when Ara 's Heart Burst and everything inside it crumble bad! calls a few friends and it got settled but im back to Sungai Kertas for the whole day of 11th, discussion with mechanics confirm, Ara needs a new Engine, i was so sad to leave her there but i had to, my carelessness and she has to pay, and i think Ara wont be available for a while, so that my heart is so damn cloudy and i cant think straight of sadness, i hesitate and i nearly cry *its ok for a man to cry*

19th October 2010 - Career Disaster

when talking about Replacement, i expected something much more than myself, but guess what, it was myself , 8 month ago of myself, wth?? i got re-stationed and i dont wanna bother about my last station anymore, but what happen is i got to teach them everything i know, everything i experienced for the past 8 month, its nothing to be fussy about but i expected someone that are more skillful than me to take my place, the negotiation with my boss went bad n i decided to hell with it, i resigned! and now, im planting grapes on my Ma's Yard, but this come across my Principle and i dont follow an incompetent persons order coz they only thinks for themselves, i dont care who u are what u do, ive seen what u can do and i know i cant progress myself by being with u, so im moving on

21st October 2010 - Cousin Disaster, drags me Along with it

got a call from my cousin at 9.15pm, rush to her at UITM Puncak Alam, she loses her Handphone and she knew who stole it so ask me to get it back for her, but the boy went berserk when i ask for the phone, says that she humiliated him in front of class, say, u did take the phone there? and from the trouble that already constrict me i burst and i end up on teaching him manners, 17 and already wants to hold the world so i cant help it, at 9.30 i was so mad that i come home kicking the gate and roaring madly, but really, i cant help it, its just that the life has got to me, :)

24th October 2010 - Manila Jakarta Uncertainty

i came across a proposal of work, whether its Jakarta of Indonesia, or Manila of Phillipines , both of them is building construction, both of them is high risk of hazard workplace, both of them is far, both of them needs passport, both of them requires me to start from scracth, but malay saying says this, Hujan emas dinegeri org hujan batu dinegeri sendiri, so i turn down the proposal
its not because of demanding but everything i got is in Malaysia, so why bother?

fun with truth *copy from Dibon*

100 TRUTHS ABOUT ME

LAST
1. Last beverage: Oreo
2. Last phone call: Mira Shahidan
3. Last text message: Rosliza Nengsi
4. Last song you listened to: Sweet Charity "Batu"
5. Last time you cried: on 2007

HAVE YOU EVER
6. Dated someone twice: yes
7. Been cheated on: mostly
8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Never
9. Lost someone special: yes
10. Been depressed: most of the time
11. Been drunk and threw up: nope, never drunk

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS
12. Blue
13. Black
14. Green

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU (2010)
15. Made a new friend: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: Yes but it was a disaster
17. Laughed until you cried: yep, sebab teringat kisah waktu sekolah dulu
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes, Mr KP Lee change me on how to deal with people
19. Found out who your true friends were: ofcourse.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: i dont wanna know
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Yes
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: most of them,
23. How many kids do you want to have: kid kitten?
24. Do you have any pets: yeah, never has to feed
25. Do you want to change your name : No! be grateful okay.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Mandi Pantai Kat PD
27. What time did you wake up today: as usual, pukul 6 lah
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Termenung
29. Name something you cannot wait for: Beli Kereta Baru
30. Last time you saw your mother: This morning
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Get taller n more good looking, hahaha
32. What are you listening to right now: November Rain - guns n roses
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Tom? Mak tom? Mak Dibon?
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: myself
35. Most visited webpage: facebook, Mangahut and bloggers
36. Whats your real name: Mohamad Ridzhuan Rozaidy Kamaruddin
37. Nicknames: Rico, Red, Coco, Rizzy, ntah, mcm2
38. Relationship Status: single.
39. Zodiac sign: Taurus
40. Male or female: bodo ni
41. Elementary: 3 school,
42. Middle School: 3 school
43. Birthday: May 10 1989
44. Hair colour: not so black
45. Long or short: semi
46. Height: 169
47. Do you have a crush on someone : yeah, nothing special about it
48: What do you like about yourself: i adore myself,
49. Piercings: sakit
50. Tattoos: NO! are you crazy?
51. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS
52. First surgery: recently
53. First piercing: no
54. First best friend : Awan
55. First sport you joined: Hockey
56. First vacation: 13 years old Langkawi
57. First pair of trainers: tak ingat

RIGHT NOW
58. Eating: No
59. Drinking: No
60. I'm about to: post this
61. Listening to: nothing
62. Waiting on: something good

YOUR FUTURE
63. Want kids: yeah.
64. Get Married: yup.
65. Career: building it right now

WHICH IS BETTER
66. Lips or eyes: eyes
67. Hugs or kisses: both.
68. Older or Younger: younger
69. Shorter or taller: taller
70. Romantic or spontaneous: both.
71. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice arms la.
72. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.
73. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble Maker.

HAVE YOU EVER
74. Kissed a stranger: once
75. Drank hard liquor: never
76. Lost glasses/contacts: yup!
77. Sex on first date: err.. bodo ni
78. Broken someone's heart: everytime
79. Been arrested: No.
80. Turned someone down: yes
81. Cried when someone died: Yeah.
82. Fallen for a friend: it wouldnt last long though

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
83. Yourself: Everytimes
84. Miracles: yes.
85. Love at first sight: yes
86. Heaven: ofcourse.
87. Santa Claus: bodo ni
88. Kiss on the first date: maybe
89. Angels: i lost her, hahaha

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
90. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:never, 1 at a time
91. Did you sing today: MCfly Its All about U
92. Ever cheated on somebody: as far as i concern, no!
93. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: on my 12 years of age, i wanna meet her,
94. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be: i always fight

95. Whose car did you ride in last: mine, Ona
96. Who was the last person to call you a bitch: try me
97. What color shirt are you wearing: white and black stripes
98. Has anyone recently told you something you didn't want to hear: yes, right before i hit him
99. Has anyone recently disappointed you: yes,
100. Posting this as 100 truths: truts as for me :)

Me Standing Still But Everytime Im Losing

Last nitght was a really bad night, I lose Ara, i Lose 1 more thing, its not because of im too pushy like always but its a matter of rejection, which im really use too, everytime,

Why am i supposed to have what i want, although it mutual, whats wrong with me? talking to friends for once and a while really keep me back on track, because most of them really do are for me, and even them dont want me to get a silly scratch, but always is, truth hurts, but its not about the truth i seek but its about the truth i see, its a lie if i dont feel a thing, ive done things, but i feel worthless, i say things but its not listened, whats bad of me, that when i started something i will finish it, work out or not its not an issue, but ill be always trying,

Losing someone, i used to carry that feeling everyday, its not easy to bear it but willingness to move on spirited me, maybe, if i have faith i will make it out somehow,

Thx K for the talk, and thx all my frens to make me realize that is im making mistakes now, ...

Am i Really a Workaholic?

i think that im the laziest human on earth, i didnt do much, in my free time im just lying down, on bed, on sofa, on floor, but yesterday KP ask me to go home and leave all the paperwork in the Vitara. i said later, but i manage to slip few of the drawings back home in staff's house which im working on till 12 a.m yesterday, am i really a workaholic?

She sms me on 11.40 , it was such a small matter but i burst! not because of her, its because of my head are on the tense state of calculations and my eyes tired and watery. after 5 mnutes i gain my senses, i call her, she sounded so weak, so sad, i feel like from the laziest human on earth that i become a biggest jerk in this universe,

n i think this is the first time that ive talked to her this much, im not much of a talker n not much of the thinker, but talking to her calms me, her voice soothes me, make me calm, make me refresh, i dont know, but her dorkiness gets to me, can u believe she pop out Batu caves in the middle of VAmpires' talk? that cracks me up hard and i was laughing hysterically, thx Mydear, this year was rough but u make me laugh hard so ill remember that

after i talked to her, magically i walk past of my works and wrapped myself in my Apple Comforter, put my head on my Apple pillow and i black out, this morning when i woke up i lose myself, i forgot my phone, im wearing my fancy shoes till KP tells me, i want u to go back to home at 2, and dont come till i told u to!

its like ive won the world cup, i drive insanely back home and eat, sleep and play ps2 till im writing my stupid blog rite now,,

the bottom line is, am i really look like Shia Labeouf?